Codex Pontifex

Field of Battle

admin — Sat, 06 Mar 2010 04:58:00 +0000

This was never merely a legal battle to me. It was a war of ethics and principles. What would be the reigning paradigm under which my son would be raised? What path would be provided to him for the success (or failure) of his future? What standards of education, home life, spiritual upbringing, and ethics would be set and by whom? What influences would be allowed around him during the formative years? Who had his best interests at heart and who wanted a play toy? All of these were very important issues to be addressed at some fundamental level.

Master Illusionists

admin — Sat, 27 Feb 2010 01:42:00 +0000

The Master Illusionist never, ever lies. He always tells you precisely what he is doing at any given moment. He always tells you the absolute truth as he performs the trick in front of your face and you verify every move he makes. But reality actually happens in the silent spaces between the truth you witness until that final atrocity your senses couldn’t anticipate.

Laying Blame

admin — Fri, 26 Feb 2010 21:13:00 +0000

It’s lame to blame me for not helping you up when I’m still wrapping my hand from the last time you bit me.

Counting the Cost

admin — Thu, 25 Feb 2010 21:09:00 +0000

What’s the point of gaining the whole world, or merely even a small desire, if it costs as much as my soul or as little as my dignity?

Ramblings of a Ghost

admin — Thu, 25 Feb 2010 20:11:00 +0000

I think it’s amazing what you can find out if you really chase down the ramblings of a ghost. Sometimes they just aren’t as crazy as they seem once you finish changing your pants. But it’s that first rush of warm piss that scares the bejezus outta ya and really messes up the couch.

What Could You Offer?

admin — Thu, 25 Feb 2010 17:46:00 +0000

I’ve been wondering what it would be like to desire money over intimacy between two hearts, to crave sex over passion between two souls, to want less than the world offered in full between two intellects.

I’ve been wondering what it would be like to leave someone in pain for such common trifles.

And then I look and see that I have someone, right now, who accepts me and desires me for precisely who I am right now, who accepts that I find their money to be a worthless avenue to my heart, who accepts that their breath next to me while asleep is more important than sex, and who accepts that a world of unknown experiences to be shared together is more important than all these other things combined.

I look and see that I have someone who accepts that I cannot be bought, seduced, or whored away from my life for any price.

What could anyone possibly offer me that would rival what has been given to me without cost to my dignity?

That’s what I thought.

I no longer wonder at all about such things. They are beneath me. They are for common people with common lives. And no matter how expensive, how hedonistic, or how jet-set filled those lives may be, they will remain just that: common.

The Past Revisited

admin — Thu, 25 Feb 2010 15:14:00 +0000

It would seem that the further along in life I get, the more I realize just how far from the past I am removed. And then I look back and see just how many I loved are still right where I left them, moving in circles around the same glittering desires, same unfulfilled goals, and same unassailable hearts that could not love me in return.

The Simple One

admin — Wed, 24 Feb 2010 23:04:00 +0000

Can I make it any more simple than this: I love you.

Lament

admin — Wed, 24 Feb 2010 01:16:00 +0000

Lyrics to Lament by Sunset by Roses Rage:

I stand here shedding tears in the rain
Trying to let go of goodbyes
But there is something in your eyes
That is just driving me insane

—from "Notes to Purgatory³"

Grit

admin — Tue, 23 Feb 2010 15:56:00 +0000

I often wonder if the feel of grit in the ears ever gets irritating enough for some to actually want to get their head out of the sand and take a real bath

Last Day of Freedom

admin — Tue, 23 Feb 2010 13:04:00 +0000

For some, the last day of freedom is the first day of waking up to the need to be free again. For others, it’s merely the last day of freedom as they willing go to their chains.

I Know You

admin — Mon, 22 Feb 2010 21:19:00 +0000

I know you. I feel you reach for my mind as I reach for your soul, combined in the unique for ecstasy in the union.

Moving to the Gutter

admin — Mon, 22 Feb 2010 16:59:00 +0000

When you move to the gutter, expect to stink.

Yonder Beggar

admin — Mon, 22 Feb 2010 13:33:00 +0000

It may be that yonder beggar is a King. And that may be well and good for some. But if you really are the temple of God of very God, then I dare you to stop living in the muck, reach deep inside to pull out that King from under the mask, and live beyond all this mortal coin can offer alone.

Out of Mind, Out of Sight

admin — Sun, 21 Feb 2010 22:38:00 +0000

Some people would do just about anything to be out of mind when out of sight. Yeah. I’m not one of them.