This, my love, is what sliding into the abyss looks like from the inside. Darkness surrounding the soul, solitude embracing every molecule of light and eclipsing the atmosphere of joy; terrifying nightmares of loss and abandonment, fear of history repeating itself over and over again and the paranoia of déjà-vu; expectation of catastrophe, aimless wandering around the simplest things of life and the need to feel pain to feel alive: these are the creature comforts of the hopelessness that is all-consuming to a mind on the edge of fracture.
11
June
I love my son. I love all my children. I wish I was a better father to them all. But I have the opportunity to actually raise this one. I have a chance here that I haven’t had with the other two. I can only hope that he will look back on his birthdays and see that every year that went by, I tried my best to raise him to be a good person, to be an honorable person, to be a true person. I hope that he will look at every birthday not as a day of getting something from people but as another year lived well, honorably, and true. Maybe that’s too much to ask at twelve. Maybe not.
Category: 2010
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09
June
Ultimately family is a choice regardless of respect or of blood. At some point, however, we must come to the realization there is an equally valid decision to be made when we are sitting around choosing who is in our family. And that is: choosing who is not.
Category: 2010
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09
June
Go ahead and just make definitive plans all you want, but never ask a deaf man if he is alright with just playing it by ear.
Category: 2010
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07
June
When it stops being all about you, only then is there room for everyone to grow.
Category: 2010
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04
June
There are days when we realize just how helpless we are in the face of apathy, and exactly how pathetic and unalacritous apathy is in another human being.
Category: 2010
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02
June
Invisibility is a trait that is earned. One earns that privilege by merely wishing to be important to someone else and, in that terrible moment, one becomes instantly invisible. The consequence is that one is then turned into a tyrant or a trainwreck in order to be either heard or seen. Or one merely fades away in the shadows of the unseen.
Category: 2010
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02
June
Life isn’t like the turning of the dusty pages of Fate’s little black book of empty words; rather it is that which we greedily gasp in each breath and expel as a belch or a lyric. It is each visceral moment that strings us up and strums chords and discords of what meaning our life really holds.
Category: 2010
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02
June
Sometimes all we can do is shake our head in disappointment at the predictability of people around us. 99.9% of humanity is just pure and simple fucking sheep. The only way to move them to even bleat is with a taser.
Category: 2010
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02
June
… and then there’s that one—or two or three, depending on your proclivities, I imagine—that puts a grin on your face that just sits like a ticking time bomb waiting for something wicked that need not be conveyed in words.
Category: 2010
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01
June
It is not the bobbles and beads of Faire that draw us in and seem not to let go as much as it is the recognition that "real life"—whatever that may mean—has lost its enchantment. It is not so much the accuracy "of period" that is important, but the engagement of life itself that shows there is more living to be done in… an afternoon of searing heat or downpours and mud than in a whole year of 9-to-5 clockblocking.
Category: 2010
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30
May
There are some events in life which are shocking but oddly come with a sense of relief. Our response is not so much to grieve the loss as it is to start breathing again.
Category: 2010
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25
May
I think that sometimes there are things that just can’t be appreciated properly in words. All you can do is look across the room and quietly admire what Providence has given.
Category: 2010
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24
May
I think that some days just smell like victory. (Of course, having said that out loud, I should probably expect defeat to settle into the adjoining cubicle by the end of the week … *sigh*)
Category: 2010
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